One Night with the King

All little girls believe and dream that they are princesses and that one day they will become Queen. Their prince charming will come whisk them away in the dark of the night and save them from the evil dragon that was threatening their life. After a drama filled escape, the princess and prince finally arrive at his big castle and they live happily ever after! The end.


I have always loved  the story of Queen Esther, ever since I was young. I probably loved this story more than any Disney princess movie because the story of Hadassah, Esther's Jewish name, is an inspiring one that can really happen to anyone of us. We will all face those "fork in the road" situations where we either trust God to save our lives (literally) or we turn to other things to save us. This story really is no fairytale, but rather a story of  Big Faith.

You see, God always chooses the unlikely to carry out his grandiose plans. He chooses those people that everyone would have overlooked to become King/Queen/or the leader. Take King David for example. He was just a shepherd boy that had family problems, but He had the favor of God over his life, allowing him to do mighty things for God in his lifetime. The same applies for Esther. She was an orphan girl, just living with her uncle, Mordecai. An ORPHAN?! God would make an orphan, Queen?!!! Well, yes He would. God uses all types of people to carry out His will as I mentioned before. In the Bible, He used a prostitute named Rahab to help keep God's people safe, thus becoming an ancestor in the lineage of Jesus Christ! God does not look at our physical condition and what we have done, but rather he looks at our heart and if it is willing to serve Him despite how our current condition is looking.

Back to the story! So as I mentioned that Esther was an orphan who found favor with the King and soon became the Queen of Susa. There is a twist in the plot, the King did not know that Esther was Jewish and one of the King's noblemen, Haman, was plotting to obliterate the whole Jewish race. Esther now had two options. She could approach the king unsummoned or let her people die.

The problem was that Esther had not been summoned by the King in thirty days and to approach his throne unsommoned meant immediate DEATH. Off to the gallows you go! Do you now see Esther's dilemma? Do you know see why it was so imperative that she trusted God with her life and the lives of her people?!!

I believe we all have those surreal moments in our lives where we hypothetically speaking, have to approach the king unsommoned. This is a decision that could affect your life and maybe generations to come in your family. Just like Esther, we have to throw out our logic and reason and follow God in this very pivotal moment. These moments could involve: what career path we should take, should you marry this person, should you move to this place, should you step out on faith and launch that organization you have been dreaming of? The list goes on, but the point is, we must have faith as BIG as Queen Esther's despite everyone looking at us like were crazy. I image that once Esther entered the court room unsommoned, all of the officials were screaming in disbelief and in anger at what this disrespectful woman was doing. HOW DARE SHE?! However, they did not know that she had God on her side. ;) SIDENOTE: [You can not let everyone know the dreams and desires that God has placed in your heart because some people simply will not understand. And because they do not understand, they may try to deter you from fulfilling the call on your life. They are not doing it because they don't like you (some do not like you however) but because they do not understand. Watch who you tell your dreams to.]

Esther won favor in the eyes of her king and he extended his scepter to her. God was with her and she was able to make her request known to the king. She in the end was able to save her people and her life as well all because she believed that there was NOTHING to hard for God. She believed in the impossible. Esther had BIG FAITH. Can you image being in her shoes?! Sometimes, I don't think Esther gets enough credit for what she had to do! That was a big weight to carry! Just for a second, imagine how she felt before she went into the throne room. She probably had sweaty palms, her heart was racing fast, pulse on 10million! But the difference was, despite what she was feeling, she took those steps of faith into the throne room and did what she was called to do.

We are all called to have big faith in our lives, like Esther. You will know when those moments come because they usually involve us trusting God or trusting ourselves. If Esther just said "Welppp, good luck to the Jews, I'm good, I'm the Queen", who knows what would have happened! God would have raised another deliverer up to save His people but, Esther's life may not have been saved, even if she was Queen! Mordecai, her uncle, even said:
 "For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

God always has plan B,C,D,E,F,G,H all the way to Z and then some more, if you refuse to be obedient and have faith in Him. So the next time you face a reallllyy difficult decision that seems impossible to the human mind, trust God. It's really simple. There is no point in worrying about it. What does worrying do for yourself? NOTHING! Worrying makes you sick and actually worrying is sin. Worrying is the result of the lack of faith you have in God. You don't really believe what God says He is capable of doing... #whoops #heartcheck

I am deciding to have BIG FAITH in all areas of my life from here on out and it won't be easy but all things are possible with God. I want to be able to have the same faith that Esther had as she entered that throne room and approached the king unsommoned. God only knows, but who's to say you were not chosen for such a time as this?

Besos,

Kay Godd <3

 

Drawer One: Taking the Role of the Passenger

Beep Beep Beep Beep goes my alarm. "Its 7:45, nooooo!!", I thought to myself.

My eyes flashed open and my heart beat fast to the rhythm of the vibration of the cellphone alarm.

As I lied in my bed for another couple of minutes with the alarm still buzzing off, I thought to myself, "What did I do yesterday and why do I feel so empty inside ?” After some minutes of contemplation, I groggily turned over to turn off the obnoxious reminder that it was in fact 7:45 in the morning and it was time for me to wake up and prepare for my Winter class yet another day.

I typed my password into my phone and went straight to the Bible Application. Up popped the verse of the day, Mark 8:34,35:

   
"Then calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it." NTL

Yesterday afternoon, my boyfriend and I broke up. If you have ever been in a relationship before and you all are no longer together, you may understand what I am experiencing right now; a whole lot of confusion, mixed with sadness, and a basket full of unanswered questions. Today as I was in class, all I could think about was ,Why God? Why God, in the sense of, why was he not the one for me and why in the world did You tell me end it? Everything in my eyes was great!

Let me tell you a little about my ex-boyfriend. Sounds kind of strange me saying that now, mehh, but lets begin. In my eyes, he was everything. He was smart, kind, respectful and pretty much had it going on. I thought for SURREEEE he was the man of my dreams. However, even in the beginning of our relationship, I felt this almost nagging feeling or a better way to put it, I felt this pit in my stomach and it would not go away , no matter how much I tried. I did my best to get rid of this feeling for a couple of months, but the feeling did not cease. Instead the feeling magnified.

I won’t bore you with the gruesome details, maybe in another post, however long story short I knew that, that feeling I was experiencing was from the Holy Spirit telling me to break off the relationship.

How many of you all have ever bargained with God? What I mean by that is that you are like, Ok God, if you do this ____, then I’ll do this___. Well yeah, I have been playing this little game with God since my ex-boyfriend and I got together. As I prayed, I told God, God, if you don’t want me to be with him, then show me today , or tomorrow, or next week in some way and make it blatant. So God, probably laughing at me because He knew my intentions were not so pure, gave me more signs than I could possibly image. However, I chose to ignore them because I made myself believe they were all coincidental. HOW IGNORANT! I so badly wanted to be with him and I wanted God to agree with me SO BADLY! However, I knew He did not.

In the Message version of Mark 8:34-37, it reads,

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"Calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for?”

After reading that, I still have the same reaction that I had when I first read it. WOWWW! So you mean to tell me, if I want Jesus in my life and claim to want to follow His will, I have to let Him lead? Lead in every situation? Including my romance life? Romance/Dating, being one of the most important and scariest portions of my life, your telling me that I  need to let You lead and that I am in the passenger’s seat just along for the ride? UGHHHHHHH! That’s how I feel, still. UHHHHHHHGGGGGGGG!

I love it when it says in the NTL version , "you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross and follow me." This one sentence alone made my stomach sink early this morning at 7:45am. I knew exactly, well at least part of the reason why I had to break up with my boyfriend. I needed to turn away from my selfish ways and ambitions because my eyes were not focused on Jesus! Jesus was telling me, (my personal translation)  “Yooo wake up! I am trying to save you from yourself and your own selfish desires! Give up your life to me and you will gain it all!”

I would be lying to you all if I said I was really happy about the breakup and that I am feeling great. This is farrrrrrr from the truth. I am still hurt and I may be feeling this way for awhile. Am I disappointed? YOU BET!!! However, despite my feelings and selfish ways, I would rather let Jesus lead and guide me in my love life. Why? Well because He has already prepared the way for me and knows exactly what I need and when I need it. TIMING IS EVERYTHING (Girllluhh that’s another blog post in and of itself lol) but really and truly I believe that. I believe that God knew from the start that I WAS NOT suppose to be with him and wanted to save me from all of the heartache that I am experiencing right now, hence Him sending the Holy Spirit to keep pricking and prodding at my heart day after day.

So what does this mean for me and you? This means that we should take a step back and analyze with God what has happened and what you gleaned from this experience. Do I regret being with him? Absolutely not! I learned so much , however was me being with him apart of God’s plan for me? I like to think it was not, but God always works everything for my good, even in my mess (Romans 8:28). That being said, I have taken time to ask God for His forgiveness in disobeying Him, when I knew clearly it was God telling me to not be with him. Cry for a little bit (it's very ok to cry, let it out girl!) but get up in the morning and start a new day with God! This is a glorious life that God has given you so don’t spend to much time sulking (preaching to myself at this very moment lol).

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Psalm 30:5 “Weeping may last for the night, But a shout of joy comes in the morning.”

So pick your head up princess, your tiara is slipping a little. You are a princess of the King and He loves you dearly, so don’t give up on Him. He adores YOU!!!! Trust Him with your life. Trust that He has the perfect man for you, just wait and be patient. And let me reemphasize, WAITTTTT for God to bring HIM to you . In the meantime, I am letting go the reigns of my love life and taking the role of the passenger. Care to join me?

Besos,

Kay Godd <3